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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I gotta mention the zoo – Zoo Liberec – right on the fricking outskirts. It’s a gem, a bittersweet reminder of nature’s raw truths. People giggle, get their selfies, and then sometimes shed a tear thinking about their own wild confinement. And man, the animal enclosures! They’re like neat little microcosms of this city’s soul.

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